Thursday, December 12, 2013

Jesus and Santa Claus are White Men! It's a Verifible Fact

Faux News anchor babe, Megyn Kelly, who before this Xmas was most famous for being ordered by Karl Rove to get up off her tush and walk her sweet sweet self down to the vote tabulating area, where Men would tell her that Nope Mitt Romney won the 2012 Presidency, has some bad news for you historians! Jesus and Santa are white males.
"And by the way for all you kids watching at home Santa just is white but this person is just arguing that maybe we should have a black santa," Megyn Kelly's opening statement against a Slate article by Aisha Harrris.
Of course, no "kids" are watching Megyn Kelly's Infotainment Show at 9pm Eastern, her spot is on to appeal to the Faux demographic old perverted white males who need constant reassurance the lord has blessed them as the masters of the universe.

During the segment, Megyn Keely even affected the I'm sharing a not so secret hands around the mouth megaphone maneuver and sly sideways glances at the camera which let the viewer know; Duh, it's a "verifiable fact" that jesus and santa are white.
"My point is, how do you just revise it in the middle of the legacy of the story and change Santa from white to black?" Megyn Kelly. 
"Yeah, I mean you can't!" Monica Crowley.
I believe these two just play the good-looking dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks Info Babes on Faux News, but short history lesson the appearance of jesus and santa have changed over time. Cultures, many of whom were forcibly converted to christianity, eventually made their new lord look like them. It was easier for the rulers and the people to have a deity who shared their aspects. Have a glance at the (surviving) Byzantine frescoes and mosiacs, the jesus and mary of those had the swarthy appearance of the people's of the Byzantium Empire. jesus didn't begin to resemble Bjorn Borg until the christians conquered and converted Northern Europe.

But, that's knowledge and that is strictly anathema to Faux News.

Ah Race... The bullshit construct of the 18th century is still plaguing us today. Race catergories come from a time when phrenology, animal magnetism and other pseudosciences were being winnowed away from actual scientific discourses.

But, Race based on external charaterisitics is especially silly today as genotyping and DNA mapping can show exactly from where one's ancestors originated. For instance, when North Dakota White Supremacist Craig Cobb learned that 1/7th of his genes are sub-saharan African.

But, unlike reading bumps on people's heads there is money and power to be gained from catergorizing and marginalizing people. And the Rich have used those Divisions to Conquer.


the yellow fringe said...

"My point is, how do you just revise it in the middle of the legacy of the story and change Santa from white to black?" Megyn Kelly.
How does she know we are in the middle of Santa's legacy, but if correct, he started out in the 4th century Turkey, so in year 3600 he's done. Turkey in the 4th century, he would not have been as white as the coke commercial santa, more like typical Arab in appearance, and thin.

Fearguth said...

If you doubt that Jesus was a white man with blue eyes, you need to watch Jeffrey Hunter play Jesus in King of Kings. :)

marlu said...

You make me giggle! You do have a way with words....

Nan said...

Ever see one of the earliest illustrations of Santa Claus, a drawing by Thomas Nast from 1863? Santa looks a lot like Uncle Remus.

SadOldVet said...

Santa can be whatever color you want to imagine this imaginary character to be! Not so sure about Jebsus, although he probably would have been lonely as the only white man in the region at the time. I am pretty sure that Megyn Kelly is a very light skinned black woman.

Grung_e_Gene said...

The comments by everyone here are absolutely correct, it's too bad none of us have a show on Faux News. It's almost as if Megyn Kelly is trying to indoctrinate her viewers with a specific ideology.

So, now the question is does Kelly believe this racist bilge shes pumping out or not?

Grung_e_Gene said...

Well, some conservatives believe this racist bilge:

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Santa Claus is white!" Neil Boortz exclaims. "Okay? Deal with it!"

"Everything has got to be black now, it doesn't matter what it is," the caller laments.

"You know, I'm going to scream and complain because Martin Luther King is always portrayed as black," Boortz quips. "It just ain't right."