The Revenge of the Thin Blue Line 28: Beverly Hills Copaganda 4

"Look where I'm from cops don't file charges against other cops..." - Axel Foley, Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

Cue the above dialouge to a slow fade in from a black screen to a dark street illuminated by flashing red and blue squad car lights.

The Beverly Hills Cop franchise is coming back with its 4th installment, 38 years after Detroit Detective Axel Foley greeted us with the distinctive Eddie Murphy laugh.  Many of the original cast will be returning to reprise their roles even though all the Officers would be long since retired, even nebbish (but surprisingly deadly) Detective Rosewood.

The long delayed sequel finds Axel returning to Beverly Hills to help his estranged daughter, a young Detective, and old friends take on a new crop of baddies with the expected inclusion of dirty cops on the force.  Fairly standard boilerplate buddy cop drama layered with the cliched old guard riding out one last time, with those bad apple cops working with the criminals comprising the antagonists.

But, what would be a more interesting Axel Foley story would be set sometime recently, as a soon to retire Superintendent Foley looks back on a distinguished 40 year career having been involved in numerous famous and infamous cases and apparently having killed over 20 people, when a young white officer shoots and kills an apparently unarmed black man.

Such a movie, could touch on and make Axel grapple with; The nascent Black Lives Matter movement, His rank and file Officers expecting 100% backing, Axel Foley's own killer past, the Mayor and city council hoping he can take the heat or the fall, the on-line rightwing troll universe which peddles non-stop lies and racism, and in the end force Axel to grapple with his own past, and policing in general, and the difficulties which face an African-American man in law enforcement. 

Instead I think Eddie Murphy and movie studio execs who greenlight this on Netflix are woefully out of touch with the current zeitgest surrounding police serials and movies.  And the whirlwind surrounding Law Enforcement in America in 2022.

This isn't the square 1950's with Jack Friday and just the facts ma'am.

Or the civil rights 1960s with the push back against racial prejudice with They call me Mr. Tibbs!

Nor the gritty, grimy crime everywhere 1970's of Dirty Harry with justice only coming from the breaking of the law.

And then there was the simultaneously wacky and serious 1980s and 1990s with their large ensemble casts of quirky characters engaging in more and more fantastical plots which held true for the dramas like New York Hill Street Blues and the comedies like Naked Police Academy Guns.

Of course, the 2000's have been dominated by the several hundred CDI: [Insert Place Name Here] shows and the rise of the Neo-gritty focused mini-series. 

And look there have been recent series which I've watched and found well-written and acted; Murdurr Durdurr, The Night Of, and the 1st and 3rd seasons of True Detective stand out.  Justified was good even if it did suffer the 1990's syndrome of increasingly outrageous storylines (and an unbelievable body count for ole Raylan Givens).  And the HBOMax comedy Southside is fantastic even if Police are only part of the story.  The low-key Barney Miller series still stands out.  And the films Blindspotting and Fruitvale Station viscerally captured the truth of policing in America.

So, once more unto the breach will ride Axel Foley in BH4 a film which will be more Coming to America II than Dolemite is My Name.

No Time to Terminate the Dark Fate of Life after Ghostbusters but, that's not how the Fast & Furious Force works

 You can't go home again or Let dead Demon Dogs lie 

So... Ghostbusters was terrible.  Now, this isn't a rant because the little girl was made the prime protagonist.  The directors and producers tried to make her a plucky, gawky, and precocious hero and it was contrived, flat, and unbelievable.  But, there are numerous plot holes big enough to march the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man through in this forced crappy plot and stupid ha-ha homages to the first film but, you know what... who cares?

All of this lays at the feet of the current Studio system and Movie Making process.  There are seemingly only two types of films made by Hollywood studios these days; grotesque billion dollar blockbusters and remakes.  The moderate and mid-sized movie project or non-reboot is fading and seen as too risky; as proved the case with the ill-fated The Last Duel which is going to lose some $50 million dollars.  So, in studio accountants eyes it makes sense to green-light remakes (another version of Little Women perhaps?) or reboots or long delayed sequels and prequels.  Because there is believed to be a natural floor of support or a rabid enough fan-base to make the film profitable.

What no one wants to admit and no Hollywood executive wants to understand or confront is these film franchises (and I'm sure there are others I'm missing) are finished:

• Jurassic Park
• Alien
• Terminator
• Star Trek
• Star Wars
• James Bond
• Fast & Furious
• Harry Potter
• Pirates of the Caribbean

Those films had their day.  They told their stories.  But, like legendary aging athletes their day is done.

Now, maybe I'd be willing to watch films set in those universes; Rogue One, which told a story of characters you never heard of was the "best" film to come out of the Disney Studios Star Wars Era (and it wasn't that good) and the best scene was still Darth Vader murdering Rebel scum. 

Films as a story vehicle had their great runs before World War 2 and in the gritty, grimy story telling America post-Vietnam.  There's always been an appetite for serialized content.  From the olden days of radio to the mythical 1930s mini movie series, Americans have loved long form story-telling experiences.  But, we are now in the Era of Serial Television Series, which are afforded greater production value, content latitude, and story telling time which was not available to the sitcoms and soapy dramas of yesteryear.  And now (especially Covid influenced) viewing habits are vastly different; trending towards Binge watching and allowing the watcher to set the time for breaks and intermissions.

Of course, the biggest counter-point to my entire argument is everyone of those remakes, reboots, and sequels is still making big, big bucks for the film studios.  Ghostbusters: Afterlife has made about $185 million thus far on a budget of $80 million.  So, even as individual brick-and-mortar theaters and their parent companies suffer and go bankrupt expect another thoughtless, witless literally juvenile Transformers movie.

The Amazing Marvel Film Universe

Since 1998, when the Batman Franchise imploded under the weight of total camp and silliness, Marvel stepped up and 35 films based on Marvel Comics have been released.

The Amazing Spiderman 2, in a very poor showing, only held the Top Box-Office spot for 1 week before being knocked off by the juvenile movie Neighbors starring Seth Rogen and Zach Effron.

However, this is mostly because, The Amazing Spiderman 2 was awful. Modeled on the classic Death of Gwen Stacy storyline, the film simply failed. Besides the terrible special effects and the obligatory scenes of New Yorkers standing around gawking at explosions while NYPD vehicles exist only to be blown up, far too much film time was wasted on Electro's Origin, which followed the standard OSHA-violating industrial accident imparts super-powers to the victim who in reality would be dead.

The worst scene being the torture of Electro by the male Doctor Kafka, who wears make-up and listens to classical music while conducting experiments as an obvious cliched caricature of Doctor Josef Mengle. This character is made worse once it's understood that the inspiration for "Doctor Ashley Kafka" is an actual person.

One of the brilliant things The Dark Knight (2008) did was not show a villain creation scene for the Joker. Besides happening off screen, this also allowed Heath Ledger to taunt the audience and his on-screen victims multiple times with the 'Do ya wanna know how I got these scars?' line.

Instead of the cartoonish Electro created by genetically altered eels, why not just have Electro appear in New York rampaging and out for vengeance? During the course of the film, and I'm drawing off of Johnny Got His Gun, you can reveal this Electro is an eye-less, ear-less mouth-less electrically burned monster who can sense/manipulate electricity. Having been traumatized (perhaps by war or as an experiment for instance) and being little more than a charred corpse you can make him a lost soul who Peter Parker is forced to stop and is dismayed to learn he can not help.

One could argue such a film idea is too heavy or disturbing for a children's film? Well, ***spoiler*** Gwen Stacy does indeed die in the film. Though her death scene is, fortunately, not graphic.

Also why bring back the Green Goblin? However, it was accomplished the character would be compared to Willem Dafoe's excellent and psychologically frightening turn, in the Sam Rami Spider-Man film. There are many other Spidey enemies to choose from!

Of course, I would prefer the ultimate Spiderman Story of the 1980's; Kraven's Last Hunt.

But, perhaps I should be glad Sony Pictures won't be ruining that storyline the same way they flubbed Gwen Stacy's death.

Now, these films run into problems because even the Elektra (2005) and Punisher: War Zone (2009) had 40 million dollar budgets and even that kind of money is going to entail meddling from people unfamiliar or uncaring about the original source material. 

For instance, Ben Affleck's Daredevil (2003) committed the mortal sin, literally, of Daredevil letting a villain die. Daredevil, as the ultra-catholic, never kills and doesn't even let the scummiest of the scum die if he can prevent it.

The two Hulk movies (2003 and 2008) failed because the Hulk is an unworkable character for a stand-alone film. He's far too powerful, having literally carried a mountain range on his back in The Secret Wars. And the films end up with Hulk smashing a bunch of things and fighting a Hulk-esque enemy.

Iron Man 2 (2010) was an film which drew many detractors but, for the wrong reasons. I movie was fairly decent but was disappointed the film executives decided to give Robert Downey "palladium-poisoning", cured by Tony Stark's discovery/invention of a new element, as opposed to staying true to the source material and making Tony a drunk. The disease of Alcoholism, apparently being too heavy a topic for a film ostensibly marketed towards children.

The writers for the second Fantastic Four film (2007) apparently never read the Silver Surfer. While the decision to change Galactus from a big guy into an celestial monstrosity was fine, the Silver Surfer, that goofy footed philosopher has one line, "To Me, My Board"which must be included as the character swayed by the promise he sees in humanity turns on Galactus and fights for Earth.

Any film which doesn't include that line shows a lack of basic understanding of the character. Let alone the deeper Hegelian arc the writers undertook culminating in Issue 64 from 1992.

"On approaching the other it has lost its own self, since it finds itself as another being; secondly, it has thereby sublated that other, for this primitive consciousness does not regard the other as essentially real but sees its own self in the other." - G.W.F. Hegel, Phenomenology of Spirit

The Dark Surfer and the Silver Surfer engage in the struggle unto death, as they attempt to get the other to acknowledge their superiority.

Complaints aside several of the Movie Franchises have succeeded both financially while staying true-ish to the characters. The Captain America stories (2011 and 2014) have resonated quite well. The Avengers (2012) succeeded with it's blockbuster approach. The Wolverine (2013), adapted from the 1982 limited series, overcame the earlier dreck from the first solo Wolverine movie Origins. (Please Note: Any comic book movie with Ryan Reynolds is guaranteed to be bad.)

The problem is Movie Studios don't want to take any risks with these stories. They'll go for what they think will make the most money as opposed to crafting a piece of cinematic art, based on a comic book.

But I, of course, am not the intended audience. Having collected comics from the early 80's through the mid-90's my quibbles and critiques are dismissed as those of a fanboy. What the Studios look for is the Hundred of Millions of dollars these movies make them in profit.