Friday, June 19, 2009

I hate my lawn and your lawn, but...

please mow your grass as a sign of community.

Lawns take a large amount of time, care, fuel (oil+gas), treatment and water to "properly" maintain. They are an outdated status symbol which until I get 3 youngsters running around or throw weekly backyard soirees remains a green hole of life suckage, though it looks pretty. Whiskey Fire gets it with the eloquent post, I Hate Mowing My Fucking Lawn.

However, there is a curious effect happening thanks to the Piss Down Your Back Tipsy Canoe Recession; there are a large number of empty foreclosed homes with overgrown lawns and towns are reducing budget and laying off public workers, so village boards see grass height scofflaws as a potential source of revenue.

Mow or Pay:
Municipalities are finding it increasingly difficult to keep tabs on all their unkempt yards. Many, including Arlington Heights, Northbrook and Lake Forest are taking steps to hold property owners accountable.
Additionally, the Seatlle-esque rains we've been receiving are a boon to the growth of yards everywhere,
"The majority of grass grown in the Chicago area is Kentucky blue, which is a cool weather grass," said Marvin Ganek, a master gardener at the Chicago Botanic Garden. "In addition, it needs moisture, and we have had plenty of that. I can tell you it has been growing better this year than it has in a number of years."
Gasp! More big government socialism encroaching upon the individual! Quickly man the Crying Freeman Glenn Beck Ramparts! Except it really isn't. While less leniency and a more stringent enforcement of the fines may be a crass attempt at generating revenue for the towns, living in a Chicago suburb necessitates the person understand the rights of others and the responsibility of community. If you live in a community you have, unfortunately, accepted the burden of being a good neighbor.

If you want to live like a Randian Superman with a wild overgrown prairie of a yard move out to McHenry or Boone County and allow your lands to grow wild grasses.

Now of course it's difficult to move to those Counties. McHenry has been devastated by the Republican Economic Crash and living that far out costs too much if you want to drive into the city since the corrupt Bush Regime allowed their Corporate Oil Masters to inexplicably and capriciously raise the price of gas to whatever they deemed fit and since funding an improvement to the much maligned Chicago Roadways would have been socialism at work, better to allow them to flounder.

"Excellently observed," answered Candide; "but let us cultivate our garden."

In light of Father's Day I do have fond memories of mowing my Grandfather's yard, drinking lemonade and eating McRib's which he would get for me and then pull up into the driveway just as I finished.

1 comment:

wagelaborer said...

This is why I don't mow my lawn.

The city took part of my lawn to widen the street in front of my house. People already drove too fast,and they had killed my dog and my neighbor's cat.

Some asshole redneck on a bulldozer ran over my lawn everyday for a month-leading giant ruts that are very difficult to mow.

Then they left a steep hill by the road. There is no way to mow it safely.

I have a great deal of hostility to the city fathers that did this. It gives me pleasure to know that my overgrown yard probably bugs them.

It bugs me too, but only when I drive up and see it. The rest of the time, out of sight, out of mind.

I'm saving gas and air pollution for sure, and possibly annoying those that I disdain. What's the downside?

(A mowed yard is a sign of affluence originally. Affluent, I ain't)