CPAC = Chicken Hawks United and Domestic Terrorist Sympathizers

The funniest thing about watching CPAC is the cavalcade of speakers all have the same look. Soft, Pasty and doughy. It's as if the Pillsbury Dough Boy has been adopted as the symbol for CPAC. [Watch clips of the speakers from Media Matters.]

Of course, Dough Boy is a misnomer for this group. Of the speakers nary a one had the chops to do military service. Yet, all of them Beat their chests and pound the lectern We must defend America! We of course, means someone else.

Look at the list of Speakers:

Dick Armey - most inappropriately named congressman ever, voted Aye for the 2002 Authorization of Force, voted Nay on the Oath of Enlistment.

John Ashcroft - 6 Vietnam Deferments, that even surpasses Dick Cheney!

Michele Bachmann - She has made the citizens armed and dangerous and has taken a blood oath against America's Greatest Enemy, The President...

Glenn Beck - Beck is the Generalissimo of the 9/12 Army and is currently at war with the Marxists, who infest his mind.

John Bolton - "I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy" He was glad Liberals died over in Vietnam because it increased his chances with women.

Andrew Breitbart - currently deeply embroiled in a Domestic Terrorism case because he ordered his young male ward James O'Keefe to commit Watergate Jr. Oh he never served.

Robert Davi - I know what you're going to say, he's an Actor and played a Vietnam Vet and FBI Agent in the Greatest Movie Evar, Die Hard.

Tucker Carlson - Bow Ties and floppy hair are persona non grata in the military.

Liz Cheney - shouldn't she be anti-war? It's the whole reason she even exists as Liz managed to keep her father out of Vietnam.

Ann Coulter - no comment.

Jim DeMint - he's a Republican of course he didn't serve.

Newt Gingrich - Three Divorces = Three Purple Hearts in Conservative Wisdom.

Tim Pawlenty - a typical Republican Kleptocrat, Pawlenty has been in Government since 1988, 22 years without a real job.

Mike Pence - even though nothing was going on in the late 1970's when he turned 18, still declined to serve.

Tom Price - Damn it Grung_e_Gene he's a Doctor not a Soldier!

Mitt Romney - I hear that during the Vietnam war the french peppered Mormon missionaries with baguettes daily. It was hairy.

Marco Rubio - could've served in the Gulf War, choose to go into politics as soon as he was done with law school. Isn't the lack of service and being another lawyer just what the Right claims is wrong with Democrats?

Rick Santorum - must have been adopted because his Father worked as a Doctor in the VA hospital system in the 70's, tough work with so many wounded vets. Rick didn't inherit any of his father's desire to be close to the military.

Erick Erickson - puffy faced racist Birther, was so angry that 130 Macon Georgia Police Officers wanted to unionize., Erickson stated: I’m thinking I’ll have the City Attorney draft me legislation to dissolve the police department and contract with the Sheriff to provide public safety services.

Jason Mattera, Racist - Quite Infamous amongst Generation Chicken Hawk, the Young Conservatives who are convinced America is involved in World War IV yet have no intention of risking their pasty asses. Operation Yellow Elephant has detailed posts concerning Mattera's legendary cowardice and despicable behavior. Mattera is quiet a loathsome man and a typical conservative a coward who has railed for years that Radical Islam is the biggest threat to America and this generation's struggle but has spent the last 7 years on College Campuses "fighting" liberal professors and struggling to sculpt his eyebrows just right.

Chicken Hawks one and all. Conservatives are a fucking disgrace.

And lest anyone think the Conservative ire directed against President Obama has anything to do with fiscal responsibility or protecting America, Monumental Failures Bush and Cheney were apparently cheered loudly by CPAC members.

Conservatives don't want to change anything, except who controls of the Apparatus of Government from which to control the American people and enrich themselves. Conservatives are arousing the anger of the Tea Baggers, whom they wish to merely use to regain control and then quickly clamp down and diffuse. The problem is the calls for violence and revolution the conservatives are hoping to use to ride to election victories are having consequences.

Update:
Did the Extremist Right's call for Revolution result in an individual flying a plane into an IRS building? Well new Republican Senator Scott Brown identifies and sympathizes with the Domestic Terrorist. But, it's only doe-mess-tick terrorism when Sarah Palin says it is...

Related
At CPAC Human Events editor Jed Babbin Jokes About Grover Norquist: I'm Glad He Didn't Fly That Plane Into An IRS Building[Talking Points Memo]