Michele Bachmann's Blemishes *Updated Turns out Bachmann doesn't have a Birth Certificate

In 2008, Michele Bachmann asked for the media to do an exhaustive investigation into every member of Congress. That spotlight has been shone upon her and her icky blemishes are coming to light. Bachmann has tried to cover-up her gross record but not even $4700 dollars of pancake makeup can obscure her blemishes. Sadly, what we've learned of Michele Bachmann is that she and her family are hypocritical big government welfare sucking, religiously insane christian fanatics who lack basic knowledge of America and even a basic sense of human decency.

Bachmann's family has received a Quarter of a Million dollars from the Federal Government over a period of 13 years, in so-called farm subsides. Bachmann's family can't survive in the Free Market so like lazy welfare queens they steal government welfare.

Marcus Bachmann used Medicare payments for the practice of laying upon of hands all over the bodies of young gay men and conducted seance pray-away-the-gay cures for homosexuality. Since 2006, Marcus Bachmann & Associates has received almost $30,000, according to Minnesota state records. The majority ($24K) came in the form of grants, funded mainly by the federal government, from the Minnesota State Department of Human Services.

Bachmann directly applied for and received a $417,000 Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac backed home loan in 2008. After benefiting Michele called for a dismantling of Fanne and Freddie.

It now makes sense why S&P also downgraded Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac since President Bachmann took a pledge to never raise the Debt Ceiling.

While flogging the Obama isn't smart he reads of a teleprompter joke, Bachmann pledged to never read from a Teleprompter and then immediately flubbed her line by calling herself President O'Bachmann.

Bachmann knows the Founding Fathers "worked tirelessly to end Slavery" at Lexington, Alabama and Concord, California. Even though, Bachmann knows Slavery was super duper better for Blacks when she signed a pledge to never allow Marriage equality which included a passage that, of course, black Slaves had better family life under slavery than today. (As an aside, this is a standard motif amongst conservatives that slaves had it better than blacks today along with the idea that liberals are the real racists because they won't tell black people to get a job like their industrious slave ancestors had.)

Bachmann is campaigning upon destroying the "job killing" EPA. And lo and behold Michele Bachmann has, in her capacity as Congresswoman, asked for money from the EPA. Oh, and remember that Failed Obama Stimulus? Well, on sixteen (16) ocassions Bachmann requested that failed Obama Stimulus money!

And even though President Obama is spending too much of the stuff Bachmann is very worried we one day might leave the dollar. She's so worried that one day, "We would give up the dollar as our currency and we would just go with a One World currency," that the only legislation she has ever written has been to ensure the US never "comingles the value of the dollar with the coinage of Zimbawae."

And then there is the god stuff. Michele has said repeatedly god has called upon her to marry her husband, to run for state office, to run for Congress and now to run for the presidency. The voice in her head isn't god's it's is her own and it's the same one that allows her to confuse John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy.

Michele Bachmann and her family are nothing less than anti-American hypocritical fools, zealots and thieves. Dan Savage correctly labelled Michele Bachmann and her family as Grifters and Scumbags.

Oh but, what power those eyes have over Tea Party folks! It doesn't matter how much Bachmann buffoonery is illuminated. Her rank hypocrisy is not an impediment and like most Tea Party folks I bet Bachmann doesn't even see a contradiction between her partaking of Government programs while she works tirelessly to destroy those very programs. Like most Teabaggers, Michele Bachmann, most likely believes she is a self-made superhero who has never used a government program.

*Update*:
Michele Bachmann refuses to show her Long Form Birth Certificate because it turns out she was not born in Iowa along with her twin brother John Wayne Gacy but was born in Canada.