Creepy Weirdo J.D. Vance absolutely loathes and hates Women which is why he fucks Couches

 

All this week On Fox, Couch fvcker JD Vance
guest stars on The Simpsons

  It certainly appears that the Republican Party did no research on J.D. Vance prior to him being selected Vice Presidential nominee.  If they had, the Republicans might have uncovered these scurrilous rumors and disturbing facts.  Of course, I am glad they did not because Vance is emitting huge Loser Stink vibes and is probably going to be dumped from the ticket.

Trump, with his ego and low cunning, wanted Doug Burgum because he couldn't possibly upstage the Malignant Mango Mussolini and of course the Media would fawn over his good hair and laud Traitor Trump for his new found sagacious unity and appeal to regular Americans.   

Vance was apparently the choice of the Trump Failsons, who got big money from, Undead billionaire Peter Thiel.  Vance's entire rise to political prominence seems like it was manufactured with the help of Thiel and Amy Chua.

Coked up Don Jr and the Other One lost their minds and screamed, 

'Why would you do something so stupid? He offers us nothing,’” a longtime Republican operative familiar with the discussion told NBC News. “They were basically all like ‘JD, JD, JD,’” the operative said.

That's a deep investigation which has been discussed by others and I'll let you read their work.  But, by now you've heard about J.D. Vance fucking a couch when he was younger and I think I can provide you context on how, where, when, and why J.D. Vance decided to fuck a couch.

J.D. Vance was in the United States Marine Corps from 2003-2007.  My time in the USMC overlaps that era.  The Marine Corps is predominantly male by a 19:1 ratio.  I deployed a lot during my time in the Corps, I missed three straight Christmas' and spent almost 600 days overseas so I have a cultural blind spot from the early years of the 2000's.  Back when I was stateside I didn't spring for Cable in my Baracks room.

In 2004, the Chapelle Show ran one of Dave's immortal sketches involving Rick James and "FUCK YO COUCH".  I asked some of the other Marines who were talking about it, the discussion came about filling a receptacle with vasoline, wedging it between a pair of couch cushions and thrusting.  Taken aback I asked them why they wouldn't just jerk off.  You might also be asking why said boys didn't invest in a sex toy of some sort.  Now, every Thursday is "Field day" when every Marine must clean their room (and their shared bathroom).  Besides the need to spray pledge on your shower so it squeaks, and tucking your sheets so a quarter bounces, a long standing barracks rumor which probably goes back decades was a Marine received a NJP for having a sex toy in his wall locker.  So, a disposable sandwich bag filled with lube made for a hidden substitute. 

It would seem creepy weirdo J.D. Vance is a photo-incel and like other Intel creeps fucking hates women and would rather stick his dick into a "loveseat".

So, that's how J.D. Vance came to fuck a couch.  Now, I'm not going to make fun of his name, J.D. Vance can go by whatever name he wants to be called;  funny how "Vance" and other Republicans will not extend that courtesy to others.

However, far worse than the couch-humping antics Vance engaged in during his stint in the USMC is the statements Vance has made about women.  I don't know if Vance started hating women because of his mother or his bee-maw, or if it started with his lack of access to women while in the Marines (hence the couch fucking) but, Vance absolutely loathes women.

I knew once the Supremacist Court decided to overturn Roe v. Wade, Republicans wouldn't rest until they had a Nationwide ban of all abortions in place.  I wrote two years ago, how Reactionary groups, like the Thomas More Dead Women Society, planned to use state laws about taking a minor across statelines as away to restrict the Constitutional right of Americans for the Freedom of Movement. 

"Vance", as he likes to style himself, certainly is in favor of restricting women's ability travel and openly said so during the Supremacist Court's unconstitutional adoption of Dobbs.

Vance stated he was  "pretty sympathetic" towards having the Federal Government prevent women from traveling because Republicans would claim George Soros is sending 747's full of black women from Columbus, Ohio to California to get abortions.  Absolutely, gross and creepy racism and misogyny and the standard Republican invocation of George Soros and lies.

But, creepy incel Vance hasn't restricted his hatred of women towards stopping them from receiving medical care.  Vance also hates any women who chooses not to be a brood mare calling them childless cat ladies who are miserable and don't care for America.

Look, Republicans hate you.  Republicans hate women.  Republicans hate America.  And as these creepy weirdo Republicans are more and more closed off into their own media bubbles and cut off from regular normal Americans they are engaged in "incestuous self amplification".  But, don't expect the Corporate Media to help We, the People get away from these hateful creeps.  We have to fight, but when We do, We win!