Totally Real unredacted Trump Ukraine Transcript (Updated)

That motherfvcker Trump is going to be Impeached.

But, Trump is a delusional lunatic, who believes his own hype and thinks he can head off his Impeachment by releasing a so-called Transcript of his Quid Pro Quo and smear attempts with Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky. No doubt the conversation went something like this:

VZ: Hello? Hello, is this The Donald?

Stable Genius Trump: Yes, to whom do I have the honor of addressing?

VZ: Why it is I, the big strong tough, but not as tough or strong as you, Ukrainian President Volodymyr.

Traitor Trump: Well hello to you sir. Shall we converse in Ukrainian to make you more comfortable?

VZ: That is most kind Sir but, no... First, The Donald I want to say your hand size is so massive. How do you grab things with those gigantic fingers.

T: Heh heh... well a Real Stable Genius has his ways...

VZ: Yes. It is so Sir The Donald also let me compliment you on your genius. You should most assuredly win the Noble Prize.

T: Well, of course.

VZ: Truly, under your big strong Presidency Ukraine is very well protected from Russia.

T: Well, you know no one has been tougher than me on Russia.

VZ: It is so, The Donald. But I also wanted add that all our most beautiful girls, I'm talking 9's and 10's, are very attracted to you.

T: Well, send them my regards. But it's tough luck for them as I am married... for now... heh heh heh.

VZ: well, these young girls, I mean up your alley young, are also getting the plastic surgery to look like Ivanka!

T: Ooooh, well then... no. I am too busy saving America.

VZ: That is the reason for my call. Can I help you keep America great even more? Perhaps by investigating those known criminals in the Biden family?

T: Well since you brought it up totally without me mentioning anything...

VZ: Oh yes this is totally my idea and I expect nothing in return expect perhaps your kind words.

T: That, and only THAT, you shall have eternal friend.

VZ: I don't ever cry. But I am crying now, Sir.

~~~~~~~~~~~End Communication~~~~~~~~

Update:
The Criminal Regime released a fabricated document and holy shit it's bad. The best document the White House team of traitors could produce on its face implicates multiple members and Trump himself in numerous impeachable offenses.